Growing in to Autism

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I was concerned about doing it this way because I didn’t want to pathologise autism, or support a medical model that reduces autistic people to a series of “symptoms”.

The “alone in my room by myself” me sang, and stomped, and twirled, and stimmed, and talked to herself in funny voices. I know that growing up I would have been much more comfortable being referred to as “autistic” than the terms regularly used by my peers to describe me -words like weirdo, freak, and others I wouldn’t want to put into print. They express a reluctance to “label” their child and worry that being identified as autistic will damage the child’s self-esteem.

She learned from that and similar incidents to act according to her perceptions of what others expected of her: and to “mask” her autistic behaviours wherever possible, such as making noises, counting objects like lino tiles, repetitive behaviour (‘stimming”, self stimulation). As the boys moved through school, from time to time I wondered whether my older son actually was also on the spectrum, but then I would think of how much he was like me and attribute his challenges to being shy and intelligent. It gives fascinating insight, practical explanations and advice, delivered from the author’s deeply personal perspective. This will also be a great book for non-Autistic people who would like to learn more about autism, particularly about the experiences of Autistic adults and how to support them. This was a profound awakening - throughout her life she had been masking her true self and this effort had come at great physical, mental and emotional cost.

We acknowledge the traditional owners of the lands on which Melbourne University Publishing stands and we pay our respect. This is the best book I’ve read by an autistic author who is explaining what autism means for them in their everyday life. A fascinating insight into how challenging life can be when one doesn't fit into many of the normative expectations and accommodations for 'neurotypical' people. It can be read from cover to cover, but you could just as easily pick and choose the chapters which interest you the most.My relationship with masking has changed fundamentally since my diagnosis, although I would have to say that it is still evolving.

I realised that I had spent so much time and energy masking who I was so that I could meet the expectations of other people that I had lost sight of who I actually was. Over a number of years, Thom-Jones realised she may also be Autistic, and with much trepidation, sought a diagnosis for herself.As such, the book is easy to read, while being packed with facts, and footnotes for more information. Often these appear to have been honed over many years of experience, particularly since learning about her Autistic identity, and finding supports within the Autistic community.

There are probably a lot of adults who may be having the same thoughts and feelings you were when considering exploring an autism diagnosis.

This provides an illuminating juxtaposition of Autistic versus non-Autistic experiences throughout the book, particularly those centred on social communication. There are a number of signs that are well known to the general population (inability to engage in social chit-chat, obsessive interest in one particular subject or hobby etc. Both of my sons were clients of the same psychology practice, the ASD Clinic, which had been recommended to me as the experts in autism when we moved to Melbourne in 2014. I was ready for him to laugh or express surprise at such a crazy thought, but instead he said: “Yes, I am sure you are. She regards autistics as of high intelligence particularly in analytic skills (her maybe but surely not all), they are rule abiding, and hence trustworthy and reliable, and creative in thinking outside the neurotypical box.