He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself

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I could clearly identify with the explanations of the author in the causes of underachievement in teenage boys. This book was great at giving perspective and creating empathy for the “opt outs”, which was refreshing. This book is for a C student who's 100% into the consumer culture and expectations of American maleness. The first part covers the why your son behaves the way he does, using relatable scenarios from his life and practice, along with a more heavy chapter about the science of the teen boy's brain and underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex.

From what I know of teenage development, young people are usually really motivated to learn about stuff that interests them. I don't agree with everything the author said, but I listened and am now armed with additional knowledge and ways to help/cope/work with each of them as they grow. These types of parenting books are often hard to get into and hard to finish, but this one was necessary and helpful to me for one of my children at this particular time of my life. Getting teenagers into a routine is a topic that frequently comes up in my discussions with parents of teenagers.However, as I was reading the introduction, I got already convinced that this book is going to be a great tool for me. Learning to be independent is soooo important but many parents over control thereby stunting that natural growth. They see a face that is frightened and respond with their amigdyla which is fight or flight, anger source. If this is your son, then this is the book to help you step back, figure out what’s going on, and get yourself off the treadmill that is sustaining his behaviour.

There are clear explanations of teenage brain development, the role of male hormones, the impact of burgeoning sexuality, and teenagers’ need to find their feet as independent social and emotional beings. I wish I’d read it earlier when my son was in elementary or middle school as I would’ve adjusted my approach and response in handling some of his struggles with motivation sooner, but I still appreciated learning several tips that I can begin to implement now. This is not a book for every parent of every kid, but if your son is school adverse, bored, interested in other things rather than school, sometimes overwhelmed with where to begin, works hard at things he enjoys, this book might be for you. I read this book because it was marketed to focus on raising boys with the ADHD however, it essentially applies to every male.

Additionally, what about our LGBTQ boys that approach their transformation into sexual beings in perhaps a different way? Parents can help by giving chart outline of steps and strategies but let them fill it in after one or two helping them. Who refuses to take responsibility for his schoolwork unless you trawl through his bag to make sure it gets done.

The ‘could-try-harder’ boy who is too cool, too busy, or too engrossed in his Xbox to put in the hours on his academics.For me, personally, one of the best things about this book was all the charts - whether it was about learning organizational skills, or giving you an arsenal of words to help your son learn about/describe himself, they were a great resource. But interestingly, whilst many parents agree with what I say in my talks, and often come to speak to me about their concerns at the end of my talks, I also notice how some parents raise their worry with me that their teen (usually a boy) is behaving in the opposite way.

No magic pill , real advice for parents who want to WORK to change their relationship with their child and truly help him. It offers sage advice on how to shift your thinking about your child and follows up with some very common sense, practical tips on how to move forward.To be fair, I did get a couple of tips and insights that I will use, which is why I rated the book 3 stars. Easy to dismissed boy's when they are growing and this book invites you to stop and think about what might be going on for them. And if you fall into what I perceive to be a very narrow strip of the population, you will probably find this a very helpful book.