Daft Dictionary (Microfax Jokes Books)

Product Information

A 10-foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung on the surface of the water. The rungs are one foot apart, and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long will it be until three rungs are covered?

Miley Cyrus. You know when she was born? 1992. I’ve got condiments in my cupboard older than that.” Lucy Beaumont (2014) Josie Long is performing for three nights only at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe (Photo: Idil Sukan) Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere. A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, ‘Yes, of course. – That’s 20 cows’” Jake Lambert (2019)I just bought underwater headphones and it’s made me loads faster. Do you know how motivating it is swimming to the theme song from Jaws? I mean my anxiety is through the roof but record times.” Felicity Ward (2016) The baby, since he is a little Bigger. 91. A man lives on the 100th floor of an apartment building. On rainy days, he rides the elevator all the way up. However, on sunny days, he only goes up halfway and then takes the stairs the rest of the way. Why is this? I think jokes about learning difficulties are OK so long as they’re clever’ is like saying ‘I think jokes about blind people are OK so long as they’re visual’” Brendon Burns (2013) When I found out the amusement park was taking photos of me on their rides without my permission I was fluming.” Olaf Falafel (2018) My Mum was always saying that thing parents say growing up ‘Wait until your dad gets home’. ‘Wait until your dad gets home, we’ll have a chat introduce you and see if he’ll start paying maintenance'” Hayley Ellis (2016)

The three you took. 72. If you had only one match and entered a dark doom containing an oil lamp, kindling, and a newspaper, which would you light first? Stop imagining. 27. Everyone in the world needs it, but they usually give it without taking it. What is it? I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, ‘that’s Abba-riginal.'” – Tim Vine Iron 100. There are three important rooms in a house; one is filled with money, another with important files, and the last with jewelry. One day these rooms burst into flames! Which room do the policemen put out first?Years ago I used to supply Filofaxes for the mafia. I was involved in very organised crime.” – Milton Jones Day breaks and night falls 81. The accountant testified “the attorney is my brother,” but, the attorney testified that he did not have a brother. Who is lying? I bumped into my French teacher the other day who asked me what I’m up to now. I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother.” Adam Hess (2016)