Taking Charge of Her Marriage: A FLR Tale of Spanking, Figging, and Pegging

Product Information

Hubby is the recognized Bar-B-Que King of our little group, although our friends kid him by saying his latest batch of ribs was almost perfect. And that with more practice, there’s no telling how succulent they might become. Our friends, out of their natural goodness, would do their part in consuming the practice runs. Finally, as in any healthy adult relationship, there will be lots of discussion and negotiation about each party’s needs and about what is working and what is not. A female- led relationship is not a female- dictated relationship. “Consensual non-consent” and the psychology of the disciplined/submissive male While my wife has full authority to decide the “why, when, and where” aspects of the disciplinary side of the relationship, I would describe it as a “soft” FLR with respect to other decision-making. We make most big decisions together, and so far there have been few impasses.

And, because accountability is often a big part of the drive for men who want this, deep down inside they hope she will be fairly rigorous in her application of the rules. Utilizing Domestic Discipline is something my wife and I have consensually evolved into after years of practicing spanking to one degree or another. For us, we started off playing with spankings before sex “ Fun Spankings“. This moved into us doing a little role playing. For one week, she would be my Mistress where she would command me to do certain things and dole out spankings for any misdeeds. The following week, I was her Master and the roles reversed. We incorporated the use of safewords (a word or phrase used to indicate when a spanking session was getting to be too much for the bottom), where we could test our limits and still have an out if we felt the need. Regardless of how much we want spankings to be “real punishment,” which the husband has to accept whenever the wife decides with no questions asked, ultimately there is always consent involved at some level. It is never truly involuntary punishment. Even though the husband may not “consent” to any given spanking, he has given a blanket consent by agreeing to enter this kind of lifestyle. And, really, he can walk away or refuse to be spanked at any time. As for the husband who has been spanked or threatened with spanking, he does not have the resentment he feels when the ultimate weapon is rejection. Instead, he feels truly sorry for whatever behavior brought on the punishment and truly appreciative of the wife who cares enough to discipline him. In fact, most wives I’ve talked with who engage in Domestic Discipine, including myself, require that the husbands thank them when a disciplinary measure has been completed. Alice has to present as a girl in the home. I know many FLRs and femdom relationships don’t use feminisation but this is discipline rule number one for me. I expect her in female ‘wear’ at all times at home, female underwear outside and to have a female beauty regime.

The Razor Strap (Strop)

She became very proficient with the cane and could strike hard enough to be extremely painful without being brutal. Nevertheless my bottom would be covered in parallel red welts for 10 days or so afterwards. The next day, she came into the kitchen fresh from running some errands and, without much lead-in, announced in a very business-like tone that we needed to have a talk about my communication style. There is absolutely nothing wrong with exploring fantasies, but it’s not really what most men in FLRs are looking for. In fact, the more it feels like role play, the less they are into it. Consensual non-consent, blanket consent, and “for any reason” I meant to ask you later that night, but you’d fallen asleep before I joined you in bed. So, answer me now. How embarrassing was saying goodnight like that to our friends?”

Punishment is often physical but may also be non-physical, a withdrawal of certain rights for example. Discipline is all about the rules and behaviours I expect which cement my authority but may also involve physical spanking.There are many ways to be in an “Female Led Relationship” and we’ve evolved into something that works very well for us. For some, FLR indicates that the woman calls ALL the shots and makes ALL the decisions regarding the household, finances and events. The man’s position in this situation is that he does exactly as instructed by his wife or girlfriend. Not what we do but as long as its consensual, safe and sane…more power to you. While their practices overlap, an FLR with domestic discipline has goals that are almost the antithesis of BDSM, which is more about exploring fantasies.