Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide

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In short, their anger seems to erupt from a belief that (1) there really is little or no hope for a satisfying marriage after an affair, (2) that I and other counselors sell false hope for our own profit, and (3) that my message of affair healing assumes that the marriage will be saved. I am certainly not her target audience, but I have never been able to relate to the Chump Lady because she puts everyone who had an affair into one big narcissistic, sex-seeking pile. While there’s a lot of tough love and it was hard to read at time because it’s all still so raw, the book provides advice on ways to heal and move forward. People don't understand this unless its happened to them" Let's hope this book reaches a wide enough audience to get a new conversation going. The reason how I found it was by typing "how to build your self-esteem after being cheated on books" into Google and this was the first result.

Neither would I recommend the book to someone who leans toward offering a period of grace before making final choices. Thankyou Tracy for being so honest and writing exactly what I’ve been thinking but couldn’t put into words. They will not agree with everything I say (just like I did not agree with everything the author said but still gave the book a high rating and have recommended it to others) but may, at least, gain a more accurate view of my perspective. It simply takes the basic, generally-accepted tenets of self-respect and applies them (gasp) to the world of divorce.I especially recommend this book for partners of narcissists or those with NPD traits who are serial cheaters. From the author: “You cannot save your marriage if one person is actively not participating in the marriage. When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters,their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy.

I'm glad it was for us over 15 years ago; after healing; and now, together we are amazing--we healed; we have sat together in three of our children's weddings and we together have watched in tears as six grandbabies have been born.This is because when the primal neurosystem is activated it tends to become obsessive- you end up brooding on the object of your hatred rather than healing and making meaning from the betrayal experience. Really enjoyed the message and will share it with loved ones who have been or are going through it themselves.