Ask Me His Name: Learning to live and laugh again after the loss of my baby

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I think obviously there has to be a change in the element of support; but the biggest change has to come from everyone else so they’re better equipped to talk about it, and support the people it happens to.

But I am so grateful for the conversations this book starts- we can talk about infant loss, because sadly it happens too often and needs to be confronted. Three days after delivering him into the world, she sat with Teddy as he took his last breaths, and tucked him in for the final time. As I spoke to Elle that day I decided to invite her onto the podcast to talk about her version of motherhood with her friend Michelle Cottle, whose daughter Orla was born sleeping in 2016.So maybe I go at it from a selfish perspective now, and think ‘Why should I have to swallow my words and my opinions so you don’t feel awkward? Let’s talk about it, and let them heal openly, and don’t make them bury it or hide it, because it’s the route to losing your mind pretty quickly if you try and hide it. I’m not saying I felt even a fraction of what Elle experienced - and what she still faces - but it made my heart ache and moved me to tears (you’re going to need tissues if you read it). The human race never ceases to surprise me: The person who you think wouldn’t know what to say, suddenly becomes an absolute hero of mine, because they say all the right things.

In the UK, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss, but conversations about the heartbreakingly frequent experience are few and far between. In this honest and hopeful exploration of mothering, Elle shows us how she navigated a parenthood no one had prepared her for.So she’d followed me on Instagram, she’d read my other posts, and [she asked me] would I ever consider writing a book?

It’s a gorgeous tribute to Teddy, but I also know how important it’s going to be to those going through a similar experience.All the gorgeous images come from Feathering The Empty Nest, with permission from Elle Wright, and all videos are part of the Tommy's Together For Change Campaign.

Experiencing secondary infertility after the death of her son in 2016, Elle went on a journey of questions, drugs, tests, loss, frustration and three rounds of IVF. This is a very hard read but also a very gripping read, I was immersed into Wright's life and simply could not put this down, getting to know Teddy and his family is an experience I will never forget. And it just blows my mind that people were that archaic about it, that they didn’t know to even say anything. They’d rather not let their minds go there, almost as if not thinking about it might just stop the worst from happening. It’s a story I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy, but Elle, Nico, their families and friends have handled it with such grace, honesty and sensitivity that we, as an audience, should consider ourselves lucky to have had our eyes opened by them.But when it comes to awful issues like miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death, far too many people have to experience it directly.