What a Shame: 'Intelligent, moving and darkly comic' The Sunday Times

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Brené Brown catalogues women’s experiences of shame with remarkable sharpness and insight, explaining how modern day culture makes us all vulnerable to shame – the ever omnipresent narratives of society that dictate how women should behave, live and operate.

The two aspects of shame I have experienced, the one negative and exiling, the other positive and humbling, are core to the human experience. Shame tears us apart; and shame allows for compassion and contrition. Paul understood this. As do the following writers. Jasvinder Sanghera is the founder of the UK charity Karma Nirvana, those goal is to help women (mainly) from ethnic minorities and victims of forced marriages. Working with the police and social services, raising awareness in schools, giving interviews and lectures... She has a vast knowledge of the issue, but not only; she, above all, also experienced it first-hand herself, as she is recounting here in her autobiography. Emotionally intelligent, life-affirming and darkly comic, Abigail Bergstrom’s debut novel What A Shamehad us at hello!Shame keeps us from truly connecting with others and ourselves. However being aware of it and recognising its influence over us, reduces its power over us. We can then begin to accept ourselves unconditionally, opening the door to being true to ourselves. What My Mother and I Don’t Talk About: Fifteen Writers Break The Silence (Non-fiction) by Michele Filgate

Mark Wolynn prescribes the Core Language Approach – linking words and language to emotions, behaviours and physical symptoms to understand where the trauma actually resides and releasing it . It’s a nove l approach, that’s proven to be extremely effective, particularly when other treatments and therapies have failed. It Didn’t Start with You evidences with depth and clarity that whil st the person who initially experienced trauma might have died or the ir story forgotten, the associate d memories, and feelings , might still be adopted by future generations – embedded in our genetic makeup and cognitive abilities - playing a far greater role than previously thought. I’m not a fan of the ‘Poor me’ autobiography genre. Mostly I find such books dull, embarrassing and often a bit manipulative. Some of them I just don’t believe and suspect are padded for sympathy. I’m not, therefore, the sort of person who reads this sort of book. What I find particularly interesting is trying to understand what it’s like to be caught between two cultures – the culture of your parents and the countries they’ve left behind and the culture of your birth country where they’ve settled. Perhaps it’s about a sense of belonging and fitting in that most people crave regardless of where they’ve come from.I loved reading this story, not only is Jasvinder a very good writer and story teller, she wrote honestly about her life, mistakes and lessons. It is such an obvious choice I thought I shouldn’t include it. Then I realised that such an omission was not possible. It is one of the greatest works about shame ever written, including the shame of self-righteousness and the dishonour of thinking you are better than your fellows. I have met people who don’t admire Dostoevsky’s novel: they’re usually moral idiots. This book is particularly helpful for those working with unresolved family issues and includes some excellent coping strategies such as affirmations, visualisations and inner voice exercises. It comes highly recommended by counsellors and mental health professionals. Jas tries to rekindle her relationship with her family after her daughter's birth but things were never the same again. Her failed relationships, marriages and bad decisions were what made her the strong woman that she is now. When her sister Robina commits suicide, she promises to help women who are pushed in to forced marriages. Her organization Karma Nirvana has been assisting thousands of women ever since. Jas's story is not one of victimization but is of survival. I could never understand her mother's cold behaviour, about the fact that parents can be so ruthless in the name of religion and honour. Contributors include Cathi Hanauer, Melissa Febos, Alexander Chee, Dylan Landis, Bernice L. McFadden, Julianna Baggott, Lynn Steger Strong, Kiese Laymon, Carmen Maria Machado, André Aciman, Sari Botton, Nayomi Munaweera, Brandon Taylor, and Leslie Jamison

This dynamic book explores what we don’t discuss within our most intimate of relationships — the relationship with our mother. She’s cried all her tears, mastered her crow pose and thrown out every last reminder of him. But that’s not helping. i have nothing much to say of this book apart from it was just okay. i believe this is bergstrom’s debut so it is completely understandable. it’s a normal reaction to me almost.

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Dark, complex and very funny. A dazzling debut about the power of self-belief, sisterhood and letting go -- Hannah Tovey What a Shame’ is a perfect balance of genuine heart and awkward humour. If you enjoyed ‘Fleabag’ and writers like Caitlin Moran and Dawn O’ Porter I think you’ll love this debut. Alternately haunting and hilarious . . . an original and zeitgeisty story about grief, friendship, secrets, shame and self-acceptance. * Daily Mail *

Mark Wolynn has a very specific approach to treating trauma – particularly the trauma that has survived and transferred from generations. He offers a different perspective of looking at trauma that’s not necessarily the result of a painful life event or a chemical imbalance but instead passed through generations. This was a sharp and personal debut about Mathilda, who has in many ways lost herself due to grief and heartbreak. It is in a way difficult and easy read at the same time. The subject matter is hard, but it is written in a manner that one wants to laugh and cry along with Mathilda. I really liked how the story switches between the her point of view to her speaking directly to her dad and her previous partner. The plot kept moving while the writing was beautiful on a sentence level. A definite recommend! I had also never considered "middle eastern" women asian, but with these references I looked into marriage and other practices in China and other countries I considered "Asian". The practices vary but they have more in common than I would have guessed. Shame is often the forgotten emotion but the havoc it plays on both our mental and physical health is quite profound. A brilliant exploration of the difficult consequences of shame with powerful coping strategies that can be life-transforming for women from breaking down barriers to love and parenting to building better relationships. Raw, poignant, haunting (and hilarious!)... In Mathilda, Bergstrom has created a clear-eyed heroine for a new generation. -- Sam Bakerif mathilda were to have a song, it’ll undoubtedly be harry styles’ famous “matilda”. that’s it. that’s the verdict. beep. Tender, unflinching and blisteringly funny, What a Shame glitters with rage and heartbreak, perfect for fans of Emma Jane Unsworth, Dolly Alderton and Holly Bourne. Lareese’s Review Razor-sharp, compelling and darkly funny. An extraordinary novel that will stay with me for a long time. -- Laura Kay