The Best Ever Book of West Ham United Jokes

Product Information

Time for a real 'international break'! Stars jet off on holiday with no Premier League games for two weeks... as Loris Karius and partner head for Dubai Or Arsenal might be able to put it about a little more than some of their most precious supporters imagine. As it is, West Ham’s most successful period in recent years saw them employing Sam Allardyce’s more agricultural style, which brought promotion via a big day out at Wembley, consolidation in the Premier League and some memorable wins against their rivals.

Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. That's a nice ham you've got there... ... it'd be a shame if somebody put an 's' at the front and an 'e' at the end. Oh dear, the west ham send off has turned into holiday camp entertainment.. Are we having fun? "groovey" Zlatan Ibrahimovic's son is selected for Sweden Under 15s boot camp... as former national team manager plays down comparisons The Pope falls desperately ill and is hospitalised. The doctors can’t diagnose the problem, so they call in a world-famous specialist. After a careful examination, the specialist informs the Pope that the physical and mental pressures caused by his lifelong celibacy have finally taken their toll. Unless the Pope has sexual intercourse with a woman in the next few days, he will die.

Get the Football RSS feed

Andy Murray 'gutted' after his injury heartache drags on with shoulder problem... as he withdraws from Davis Cup ahead of Novak Djokovic clash Terry Venables through the years: Mail Sport's picture tribute to 'El Tel', who won the cup at Spurs and Chelsea and led England at Euro '96 These were the best of the West Ham ceremony jokes after their last game at Upton Park before a move to the Olympic Stadium was followed by a lengthy celebration of their time at the ground.

Rio Ferdinand leaves TNT Sports studio during Newcastle's Champions League clash with PSG due to 'unforeseen... Wolves star Mario Lemina says 'I GIVE UP' while Matheus Cunha insists 'we are tired of hearing excuses'... after referee Michael Salisbury admitted he 'got it wrong' in Fulham defeat Spurs and West Ham fans sharing bottles of Carabao at Wembley. Throwing them across the barriers at each other. Nice gesture Don't stuff this up, West Ham. I can do without Everton messing up another season by starting in the summer. Tom, London.West Ham have raised the bar here. There'll be music + laser displays every time a club cordon off 6 seats to fix a leaky roof from now on. What a load of s***': Alan Shearer leads the outrage as Newcastle are denied a famous win over PSG by a...

Harry Kane reveals the best defender he's ever faced, the Germany star he wished played for England and why Eric Dier is the worst team-mate to sit by on a flight He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that West Ham supporter." The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Tottenham supporter. The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" Typical West Ham, always getting something for nothing. Players on frees, stadium via the London taxpayer, Europe in 10th. Geezerbloke, London.Lucas Paquetá was born Lucas Tolentino Coelho de Lima on 27 August 1997 and grew up on Paquetá Island in Guanabara Bay, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Paquetá Island is a tiny car-free island of just 0.46 square miles which was originally home to the indigenous Tupi people before being ‘discovered’ by France in 1555. The Portuguese expelled the French 12 years later. Modern-day Paquetá Island is a car-free idyll with a population of around 3,000. The concept of giving a team a reward like a place in Europe for fair play is quite ridiculous, especially since it's dependent on different clubs playing in Europe. If anything, this is simply handing a playing achievement to a club for non-playing reasons. HarvSpecter, North Korea. Harry Kane is THIRD in the European Golden Boot race ahead of Kylian Mbappe and Erling Haaland... but who are the two strikers leading the way? Rafa Benitez is among those touted as Sam Allardyce's successor, should he part company with West Ham