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Alas, there are downsides to having an overachiever personality. Not least that the high standard you work to and the success you achieve often comes through ‘excess’ effort. The authentic you is not perfect and will not always achieve. The authentic you will get things wrong from time to time and may be a little bit weird. Success doesn’t offer much happiness but instead provides relief that things didn’t go badly. And now, it’s time to start planning for the next project or promotion. That may be tied to something like a previous abusive relationship, an abusive upbringing, or other unresolved issues related to your sense of self-worth and well-being. You may very well need to explore that angle with a certified mental health therapist to better unravel your story.
The relationships that crop up from being honest and authentic will be far deeper and more genuine than the superficial ones you’ve developed out of playing to others’ expectations.They may look for ways to avoid responsibility for failure, refuse to accept blame for their responsibilities, or have a list of excuses for why they failed. The overachiever is continuously looking forward to potential problems and projects that are coming their way. If they failed, then maybe they didn’t try hard enough, work hard enough, do everything that was within their power to succeed. Maybe they were lazy! An overachiever is looking to assure themselves that they are good or worthy. They do that by accomplishing things. Still not sure how to stop being an overachiever? Talking to someone can really help you to handle whatever life throws at you. It’s a great way to get your thoughts and your worries out of your head so you can work through them.
The overachiever is continually looking for opportunities to move forward, even at the cost of other aspects of their life or health. 8. Your actions and choices are based on a fear of being inadequate or not good enough. The overachiever may find themselves regularly keeping score with their partner about who does what. You can be someone that gets things done, a lot of things done, without undermining your relationships or ruining your health.
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You may work hard, long hours at work to provide for your children, not because you want them to be happy, but because you are afraid of being a bad parent. The need for perfection often comes from dark, painful places. But you’re not perfect. No one is. It’s impossible to be. Things need doing, families need to be taken care of, someone has to get all of these things finished and finished now to move on to the other things that need finishing!
The boss knows they can always call on you to do the unpleasant tasks at work, and you’ll agree because you’re afraid of being a lousy employee.
You’ll never do all of your work, art, or love perfectly. You’ll never perfectly accomplish everything that you want to accomplish. It’s a lie that keeps you from meaningfully achieving.
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