Parenting For Dummies

Product Information

Why do I keep bringing up the issue of an outside job? Because it is a major element in how parents treat their kids. People have a tough day at work and come home not wanting to deal with their children. Too bad! When you find yourself cutting short the time that you spend with your kids or ignoring them because you’ve already had a full day, that’s when it’s time to reevaluate your other job. Parenting is your first priority. Remember Eventually, my baby will learn to walk, eat on their own, and have a life all their own — these infant days are fleeting and precious. The Parenting Game never actually ends. Soon your kids will be older and have kids of their own. Then you’ll start all over with the I-told-you-so’s, which are a grandparent’s right (and which you’re probably getting enough of right now). If your children are your friends, they’re more likely to open up to you with their problems and concerns about school, peer pressure, or other things that bother them. Likewise, you’ll be more approachable when your kids look to you not only as a parent but also a friend. Introducing the Five Basic Parenting Skills

From the time your children are born, they watch your actions and behaviors and learn from them. That’s sort of a scary thought, isn’t it? Your wee ones discover things when you talk to them and do things with them. You’ll teach them how to respond to spilled milk, how to react to a joke, what to do when they fall down — and all the other things that we deal with in life. Ages 10-13: Children in this age range are becoming increasingly conditioned physically. Emotionally, they are more likely to be able to handle moderately challenging situations, but they are also more likely to question the worth of anything extremely difficult. Hikes up to 10 miles are possible as long as the terrain is not too hilly or mountainous. Children in this age group thrive on being the leader — diplomatic and judicious support from parents is key. Menu planning, route finding, cooking, and camp setup are reasonable tasks to assign to kids at this age, but be careful that they do not take on too much and begin to feel like all they are doing is working. Just don’t babble: Sweetheart, please don’t touch the apples. If you touch the pretty red apples, they may all fall on the ground causing your dear, sweet mother an enormous amount of embarrassment. What he hears is: Sweetheart, blah apples blah blah. . . .

Being consistent sounds easy, like one of the easiest rules of The Parenting Game. But your kids have one up on you. They’re cute; they cry; they beg; tiny arms reach up; tear-filled eyes beg for mercy; and boo-boo lips protrude. But don’t give in. Be strong. Be consistent. Your kids really want that from you. They need it. They want to know the guidelines and they want you to be consistent about enforcing them. My house doesn’t have to be picture-perfect (or spotless) to ensure that my baby has a wonderful childhood. Let your kids help you. Even if that means letting them stir flour all over your counter when you’re cooking. Going to the store and cleaning house together can also be fun. Such a strategy not only shows your children that work can be fun, it also helps them discover essential skills and enables you to spend time developing your relationship with your child. Some people say that the parenting game never ends. After all, it would be nice to have an answer to the question, At what age will my children be completely independent? Alas, the answer is, Never. WordsOfWisdom Communication is the key to your relationship with your children, and this little section is just the tip of the iceberg. Refer to Chapter 23, Communicating with Your Child, and read it carefully. Good communication is the foundation of a good relationship. ParentsApproved

Chapter 6, Behavior Management, discusses how rewarding good behavior, constant praise, plenty of hugs and kisses, and organized play can keep your child out of mischief. WARNING: The perils of negative attention A role model is someone you look up to and try to be like. Maybe it’s that woman down the street who raised five kids all to become doctors. Maybe it’s a fictional character. Batman was a great role model. Even when Batgirl was about to be dipped in hot bubbling oil, he still drove the speed limit. Or maybe your role model is your own mother or father. Whoever, it’s someone you want to be like, someone who is well liked. Having a baby is an incredible experience, and the ultimate responsibility! Parenting is a job that you start with no training at all – and friends and family always seem to be the first to tell you how best to bring up your children. But there's no sure-fire formula for raising kids. Maybe that's because every child, like every parent, is an individual, and no two parent-child relationships are ever the same. So, you can give up any notions of being a perfect parent. But, you can learn to keep the big mistakes to a minimum and make the parenting experience easier and more rewarding for your children and yourself. Which is where this book comes in. Up until now, you might have had someone else call the shots. But guess what? It’s your time to shine now! While it’s freeing to finally be considered an adult, having all of the responsibility can sometimes be scary. Goal-setting is one of the first items you need to do, and to set goals, you need to have some idea what you want to do, what you’re good at, and where you want to end up.I can and will find a responsible babysitter so that I can have some one-on-one adult time once in a while. Ages 14-18: Distances up to 12 miles become reasonable in this age group. Terrain choices and goal setting can become more challenging, but the axiom remains the same: Any choice must be a group choice, or the parent risks making the children feel dragged along. The strongest relationships that parents and children can have with other people are the kind in which both can come together, accepting that they are different and that they have different thoughts and ideas and respecting those differences. Achieving this balance takes a considerable amount of work on a parent’s part, because kids instinctively consider their way of thinking right and that everyone else must think that way too.

A good role model isn’t necessarily someone who is perfect in every way. If you can walk on water, that’s great. Otherwise, try doing the things that you know are right. You’ll no doubt get upset sometimes. That happens. The important part is to apologize later, or explain to your kids why you got upset. It’s healthy for kids to know that their parents get upset or mad. Everyone does. How you handle being upset is what’s important. In Chapter 23, I discuss communicating with your child, which includes listening to what your child really has to say and letting your child know that what he or she says is being heard. Baby has a cut that is still bleeding after you’ve applied pressure for ten minutes; or the cut has jagged edges, is a puncture wound, is significant and located on their face, or is in an area where it’s unlikely to stay closed by itself (a joint, for example).Step into action. Begin the work. Each step should be strategic to move you forward and closer to achieving your ultimate goal. Experts Sandy and Dan Gookin—she’s the parenting expert for Parents Magazine and Working Mother Magazine and he’s a father of four—avoid the psychological hype and medical terminology and give you the straight poop on all aspects of child-rearing, including: Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word collectible as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. — Fran Leibowitz Speaking and listening with care A scholar is of all persons the most unfit to teach young children. A mother is the infant’s true guide to knowledge. — Edward Bulwer-Lytton The good listener How can parents befriend their children and still function as parents? This question is a tough one to answer and a difficult issue to approach. You want to be friends with your children, spending time together, doing things together, paying attention to each other, and helping them to grow up to be healthy, strong, independent people. But you don’t want to cross the line and forget about being a parent.