Jog On: How Running Saved My Life

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A beating heart, sweaty palms, and your mind fixed on a regular circle of negative feelings–far too much of us understand the symptoms of anxiety. However, what can you when your anxiety gets really terrible that your entire life crumbles? Also, how can you help yourself improve? I didn’t mind the recounting my own life so much as I just had this desperate need to get the facts right for Jog On. With mental health you obviously feel a huge responsibility to get it right and I didn’t want to misrepresent anything or offer bad advice. I also wanted it to be inclusive and not just about me. To do that justice took a lot of research which I found quite daunting, whereas with this I could basically just write from my head. At first it felt really unnerving - I was like, ‘Is this ok? Do I have to research this?’ But after a while, it actually felt like a bit of a weight off and much more freeing than non-fiction where you’ve got to get it right. Did How To Kill Your Family involve any research? MyHome.ie (Opens in new window) • Top 1000 • The Gloss (Opens in new window) • Recruit Ireland (Opens in new window) • Irish Times Training (Opens in new window) I got shin splints, which hurt like hell. I ran too fast and had to stop after wheezing uncontrollably. Photograph: Thomas Butler/The Guardian I was about to turn 30, and terrified I would use the breakup as an excuse to retreat, to be scared of life itself. I was not ready to run across a playing field. So I put on some old leggings and a T-shirt and walked to a dark alleyway 30 seconds from my flat. It fitted two important criteria: near enough to the safety of home, and quiet enough that nobody would laugh at me. I felt absurd and slightly ashamed – as if I was doing something perverse that shouldn’t be seen.

I went into this book expecting a focus on running for newbies and its benefits to mental health that the author experienced. After a decade of settling for merely ‘managing’, I’d found the thing that broke me out of it: I’d found running. Photograph: Thomas Butler/The Guardian

Friday! I stupidly invited eleven people over for dinner when we don't even have eleven chairs or even forks. I got over excited about adult entertaining (not that kind of entertaining, settle down) and forgot that I can't really cook, only bake, which I do with wildly over enthusiastic gusto. So I've made three desserts and not thought about the main course. I run blindly towards Islington, assuming everyone has dinner parties there every night and hope that I can end my jog there and buy overpriced cauliflower and some seed bread, which I do. At home, I make enough vegetable lasagne to feed every New Labour plotter circa 1997 and offer up enough of the weird bread and good wine that the dessert is only half heartedly eaten. The garden chairs came in very handy.” Saturday

I listened to the audiobook of this, which is narrated by the author, and really enjoyed this format. It was engaging, interesting, educational, honest and at times, quite funny. The author has been through a lot and she never sugar coated things or pretended they were easier than they were. But, it also wasn’t a sob story. She found the perfect balance between talking about challenges and hard times, and giving hope for the future. Anxiety affects everyone differently. You may experience intrusive and out-of-proportion thoughts, prolonged feelings of intense panic, fear and worry, but also physical symptoms of sweating, palpitations, and breathlessness, a change in appetite, tension headaches, dizziness and insomnia. At times, the sufferer develops compulsive behaviors as well–thinking that these behaviors are the only means to stop bad thoughts from becoming a reality. Bella used to think that the only means to stop her mom from dying was to switch off light switches in a certain manner. This made Bella use hours turning lights on and off until she sensed she had done it properly. Truth - I actually nearly stopped reading this with a 2 chapters left because for some reason it didn't really resonate with me.The second thing, which was even more valuable, was that I noticed I wasn’t feeling so anxious. Soon enough, I was reaching parts of the city I hadn’t been able to visit in years, especially alone. Within a month I was able to run through the markets of Camden without feeling I would faint or break down. When your brain has denied you the chance to take the mundane excursions most people do every day, being able to pass through stalls selling “Nobody knows I’m a lesbian” T-shirts suddenly feels like a red-letter day. By concentrating on the rhythm of my feet striking the pavement, I wasn’t obsessing over my breathing, or the crowds, or how far I was from home. It was miraculous to me. In an effort to feel safe, she began evading areas that made her panic. However, as the years went by, this signified she couldn’t go to most of the city where she stayed, or go to her local stores, or even go to the closest park near her. When she became married, Bella was dodging from everything –such as planes, freeways, elevators, and subway. What does it feel like when someone has anxiety? If you haven’t felt it yourself, you might assume that you have a really good understanding. When Bella mentioned about her mental health issues to people, they would usually say, “I completely understand, I’m a worrier as well!” These people really meant well; however, they really had small knowledge of how devastating anxiety can be. I found this book so helpful! As someone who suffers from anxiety and is a (very) amateur runner, this book helped me better understand how running can help quiet my brain chatter. I found the honesty about mental health really refreshing and learned a lot about other forms of anxiety. It also inspired me to get out and run on days when I really didn’t want to!

I'd recommend you give it a read, whether it's to delve into your own mental health or if you want to try to better understand the struggles of someone you know. As a very keen runner I was drawn to this book for that reason, however after reading it I felt it was better aimed at those struggling with their mental health than the hard core runner. I’m very fortunate to have never suffered with these issues so a lot of the text was a little wasted on me. Begin with no expectations. Start small, start slowly and walk if you need to. A minute outside can be a small win. In the years that followed, Bella’s anxiety escalated and she became bound by rituals; avoiding particular letters, numbers, colours and songs, and only travelling to self-designated ‘safe’ places. “There were loads of places I couldn’t go because I would panic on my own. You then become slightly agoraphobic – the world outside feels scary-unsafe,” she explains.

I’ve now discovered the author has more of a runners journal with practical guides which is probably more like the book I actually wanted so I’ll try this. Share how you’re feeling with friends and family, and seek professional advice. Visit your GP who may suggest medication and/or psychological therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Exercise, meditation and stepping away from social media can sometimes help reduce anxiety levels. But everyone is different. Anxiety is complex and affects people in different ways, so it’s important to get professional help. Chapter 5 – Working out in nature offers your mental health an additional boost –a thing Bella personally felt. However, the sedentary group hadn’t formed these connections. This shows that, at a neurological level, exercise prepares us to deal with stress better. It definitely assisted Bella.

The side notes of other peoples' stories, and stats and general development of science of mind and body needing to be in sync was really good but yes, I didn't really enjoy it. I also feel that there were bits glossed out on - about food, about her strength training, all alluded to in a few sentences and then moved on. Aged 29 Bella was married, but having trouble doing anything on her own. “I literally wouldn’t go to the corner shop,” she says. “I was at a terrible place with my anxiety.” Her world imploded when her husband walked out on their marriage after eight months, blindsiding her. “That was the worst moment, really. It was incredibly difficult.” I’m still giving it four stars though as it was very well written, with lots of interesting statistics on how running and exercise really does improve your well being and written in a humorous way to lighten the statistics and research load. If you suffer from anxiety and are looking for something in your day to day life that will help change your mindset, then I’d strongly recommend this book. I spent my 20s enjoying journalism but also knowing ‘I have slightly stumbled into this’. I knew lots of journalists, my dad was a journalist. I did it without thinking about it. And then I thought, ‘I don’t really know where I’m gonna go with this, because I’m not my dad ...’” She left journalism aged 33, to write Jog On and says that writing the book “felt like the beginning of my life”.Frequently, this female reluctance to sports begins young; a lot of teenage girls state feeling uncomfortable during mixed-gender gym sessions. One of the reasons is as a result of the comments that boys make during these classes. Sadly, these feelings of discomfort go with women into adulthood. When Cosmopolitan magazine conducted a survey, they discovered that most women felt threatened by gyms and that some were afraid of being criticized by men. Enjoy the beauty around you Your anxiety can make you introverted, forcing your brain to see negative, scary things instead of your surroundings. Nearly every time I go for a run, I stop to take a longer look at a building, a poster, a sunset. My phone is full of photos of weird street names, beautiful views, and dogs I see along the way. It’s a sad reality that 26% of the entire adults in England do lesser than 30 minutes of exercise per week. Also, the data reveal that women work out less than men. The cause for this gender imbalance may be seen in the preconceived notions we have about working out. Research has revealed that a lot of women and girls see sports as competitive, aggressive, and incompatible with being feminine.