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But Moon says that the women at Skirt Club were just as enthusiastic as women at the more queer parties she’s been to. When she was a guest speaker at one of Skirt Club’s full-fledged sex parties in New York and finished her talk on female pleasure, she expected the attendees to proceed with caution. Louise* also considers herself a unicorn even though she is still married. “About ten years ago, I found myself alone as a single mum with two young children as my partner travelled overseas for work nine months of the year. My sex life was restricted to watching porn and using a vibrator when the children slept. I didn’t want to get into the complexities of having an affair, but I missed the adult company. My partner suggested I go to a sex club as we both agreed it was safer emotionally and physically.” In the swinging scene, unicorns are solo females who go to sex parties and swingers’ clubs on their own. They arrive alone, they leave alone and just like their mythical counterparts, their scarcity makes them highly sought after.

By 10:30, the party is winding down.Before I leave, a woman named Sonja tells me the story of her first same-sex experience with a female friend. They both identified as straight at the time, so the first time they made out with each each other, they figured, “This isn’t gay.” Then they had sex. “But we said, ‘We’re not gay!’ And we kept doing it and saying, ‘We’re still not gay!’ Then one day we realized – we were totally gay,” she says. A new weekly night from DJ Kasey Riot, one of She Soho’s most popular DJs. Every Tuesday, head to Klub – in Soho bar Ku’s basement – for gender-bending expression. Replacing the long-running Ruby Tuesdays, it’s all about leather, kink, crisp shirts and dapper looks.

It felt like it does when girls make out with each other at clubs to garner attention from surrounding men, except there were no men to show off for,” she says. “So what are these women here for? Do they actually want to find a woman to go home with or is it just the excitement of possibility?” I think we’re at a fascinating time in sexual community where everything is queer and therefore nothing is queer,” Moon says. “Parties like Skirt Club redraw boundaries that have blurred in many sexual communities, and I can imagine that might upset some people. But I do think it’s healthy and good to create spaces centering on different identities.” Her girlfriend Jess, who is more androgynously dressed in jeans, a button-up shirt and vest, tells me that she feels out of place – but not as much as she expected. Everyone’s pretty hot and friendly. Courtney agrees. She’d expected to feel unwelcome, but doesn’t. In some ways, she tells me, Skirt Club feels more comfortable than queer parties she’s been to. It’s not just guys that Louise is attracted to when she goes out alone “I am polysexual, so I am attracted to people rather than a specific sex. If I am playing with a couple, it doesn’t matter how nice he is, I have to connect with her as well. If I’m playing with a single guy, then he can’t take himself too seriously, make me laugh and make me feel like I’m the only woman in the room, and you’re halfway there. Sometimes for fun, I will see a couple playing together and if I catch her eye and I can see she is interested, I will just walk up and start kissing her. His reaction is usually jaw-dropping, especially if they are new to the scene.” Soon, a pinup-style, bejeweled burlesque dancer with wavy pink hair and opulent breasts begins to shake and strip to the music. Burlesque shows are a rarity at most sex parties in the Bay Area, but a staple at Skirt Club events. Homegrown “play parties” are fairly low-key here, and with more diversity of women. Instead of the mostly skinny, femme, cis-gender women at Skirt Club, local parties tend to have women of all sizes from all parts of the gender, race and sexuality spectrum. It’s easy to see why Skirt Club, with its palatial seating, soft lighting and femmy vibe, could be an easier sell to women who don’t want to go too far outside of the hetero-norms they’re used to.

We have officially moved our Sapphic Swinger headquarters to the Denver area! In this long overdue episode, we sample some Colorado cannabis and chat about why we moved cross-country along with some fun shenanigans that led up to the big move! Forgot to mention you get 15% off at casualtoys.com with coupon code FSU. Thanks for listening sexies! In some cases, Quinn says, women saw Skirt Club events more like a networking opportunity than a sex party. At the last London party she attended, a number of women wanted to network. I’ve hosted a lot of women’s sex parties, and many of them require significant warm-up time to get the girls feeling comfortable and ready to play,” she says. “Not so with Skirt Club. These women dove right in. And yes, it was really hot.”With its clubbing roots in south-east London, BBZ prioritises queer women, trans folk and non-binary people of colour. It’s got fab ressie DJs like Sherelle – she exploded after her Boiler Room set went massive this year – and is part of an exciting creative collective with a socially conscious ethos. I’ve known a few women who have never dated women but dive into a full relationship (after) meeting someone at Skirt Club,” she says. “It’s rare but it has happened.” Once again, she repeats her rejection of a label. “Just because you might have had sex with a girl, it doesn’t mean you’re gay.” LeJeune says the company accepts “the high majority” of applicants, while remaining “focused on building a femme membership of career driven women.” But she wouldn’t give more details about why some women weren’t allowed in. After one year in Colorado, we sit down to chat about the differences between swinging here versus Florida. We discuss the LS club, Scarlet Ranch, attend a Kasidie Girls Uncorked party, and meet some awesome, welcoming locals.

Mentioned in this episode: Piano player https://ambercolesings.com ; Burlesque https://thelalas.com; Sex toys https://www.casualtoys.com - use coupon code FSU for 15% off! We are joined by our sexy friends, Mr. and Mrs. Red, for some drinks and a lot of laughs as we recount the hot and amazing weekend we shared together. Listen in on the fun and hear about their first experience at Trapeze (FTL) and their review of VR porn. Also we have a big announcement at the end of the episode!For queer womxn, non-binary and trans people of colour, this monthly event loves its themed nights – from the tastefully named ‘Game of Hoes’ to the Wild West-inspired ‘Yeehaw’. It’s a welcoming, no-pressure environment, including a free taxi service for trans people of colour. Unicorns admit that even people in the swinging community are surprised when a single female arrives by herself at a sex party. The invitation to Skirt Club, a women-only, bisexual and bi-curious sex party, tells you one thing, loud and clear: This may be a girls-only orgy, but it’s not lesbianism as you know it. This is Katy Perry singing “I kissed a girl and I liked it.” This is an Agent Provocateur window display. This is the kind of awkward, lighthearted, lesbianism many women either had – or wished they’d had – in college. It’s “lesbianism” that lesbians will recognize, but have a hard time endorsing without some irony. It’s lesbianism as a side piece. It’s lesbianism: our little secret, for women whose bi-curiosity has become too overwhelming to ignore. I keep forgetting that my name tonight is Layla,” she says. “We all choose our names. I got mine from that Eric Clapton song.”

So at 7:30 on a Thursday night, Courtney and I arrive for the party at a club in the South of Market neighborhood. It’s cold and drizzling, the kind of weather that’s more encouraging of Netflix and chill than sexual adventures. A male bouncer lets us past the door into a bar area warmed by tungsten glow and furnished with afghan rugs, ample seating on red velvet-covered chairs and inexplicable, charming typewriters. Women mill about the room. LeJeune says that when she was looking to experiment with her sexuality, she couldn’t find a space where she felt comfortable. She didn’t want to go to lesbian parties because she worried women there might be looking for a relationship, while she was not. She concedes that she may have been wrong, but she felt too intimidated to find out. So, she started her own event.

But LeJeune says that not everyone is there to indulge the occasional fantasy – some women have experienced trajectory changes in their lovelife after attending Skirt Club parties. A lesbian staple at lovely Dalston Superstore. For trash-pop and guilty pleasures stay upstairs.Or if you want to get sweaty, descend into the basement for house, techno and acid. It attracts big-name DJs too. The likes of Honey Dijon, Joyce Muniz and DJ Heather have played there. Indeed, along with the women who identify as bisexual, there seemed to be a fair number of women who say they hadn’t had any girl-and-girl experiences and identified as straight, but were nonetheless game – not surprising, really, given how likely women are to be attracted to both sexes. The X-rated segment focused on the reopening of a swingers club named Swingland in Ishoj after the lifting of COVID-19 restrictions – and Fischer discussed the reactions to her unorthodox interview style. She’s right, of course. Skirt Club is undeniably pretty – maybe too pretty, and expensive, and heteronormative to attract or accept everyone who might like it.