Finding Closure: Who can move forward without it: 1

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However, I thought that there were a couple of interesting points in the novel – mainly how Caitlin thinks about the world around her. She capitalises the concepts that she’s trying to learn – including Minding Your Manners, and Looking At The Person. This really helped me to understand her way of seeing the world, and I thought it was done quite well. Finally, what I did not realise is that the central conflict – the death of Caitlin’s brother, Devon – was based upon the Virginia Tech mass school shooting. I…was not expecting this. The way that Erskine drew the community together in their grief was incredibly moving. His hand closed automatically around the fake Horcrux, but in spite of everything, in spite of the dark and twisting path he saw stretching ahead for himself, in spite of the final meeting with Voldemort he knew must come, whether in a month, in a year, or in ten, he felt his heart lift at the thought that there was still one last golden day of peace left to enjoy with Ron and Hermione. Throughout the novel I had to remind myself that Caitlin was eleven as opposed to five or six; this isn’t a bad thing, and in fact it shows Erskine’s talent for character development. To see her grow by learning about empathy and closure by the end of the novel was truly touching – I almost cried, but I finished the book while in journalism class, and crying in public isn’t exactly socially acceptable. Finding closure after death is possible for many, but not all. Closure can be described as a process that a grieving person will go through following a loss that isn’t defined by any particular moment. Finding closure requires the acceptance of the reality of your loss.

Reframe the situation. Try to look at the outcome in a positive light. This may take time, but altering your way of thinking can help you channel your emotions. Maybe this ending is for the best and it will lead to a wonderful beginning. I believe in the ‘everything happens for a reason’ mantra: Usually, when a certain door is closed, it’s closed because it should be. Echoing the words of freelance writer Lynette Olson, “love is never really lost, simply adjusted or misplaced. Don’t let go of love, just redirect it. You might face painful losses, but grow from them.” This type of ending asks more questions than answers and, ideally, leaves the reader wanting to know how the story will continue. It lets them reflect on what the hero has been through and pushes them to imagine what is still to happen. There will be some resolution, but it will, most likely, pose questions at the end and leave some doors open. Behind him, across vast distances of space and time, from the place he had left, he thought he heard music too. But perhaps it was only an echo.He blows a little air out of his nose and nods. He lets go of my hands and does one more big sigh. 'Maybe we can make something good and strong and beautiful come out of this.' Sometimes it may be necessary to seek outside support to help you process your loved one’s death and find closure. The importance of finding closure following a traumatic event lies in why people want answers and explanations as to why their loved one died. The desire to have closure or resolution after the death of a loved one is part of our human nature. We want explanations for the things we don’t understand, and we find it difficult to move forward when pieces of the puzzle are missing.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It’s crucial to give yourself and your example time to process the breakup. For some, a few weeks might suffice; for others, it might take months or even years. What’s the difference between seeking closure and seeking validation?Simpson, D. (2015). William David Ross. In Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Retrieved from http://www.iep.utm.edu I don’t get it. That is most likely how you will feel as you read this book. But once you get to the end, you will Get It, just like the main character, Caitlin. In this realistic fiction book, the author does a good job of putting me in the place of a person with Asperger’s while telling a story with lots of emotion. It is not my favorite book, but it certainly teaches some good lessons. Tewksbury, R. (2006). Sex offender registries as a tool for public safety: Views from registered offenders. Western Criminology Review, 7(1), 1-8. Rodogno, R. (2008). Shame and guilt in restorative justice. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 14(2), 142-176. doi: 10.1037/a0013474

Now that you understand what kind of endings there are, let’s start thinking about how to create them for yourself! Read on to the next section of this guide. When asking yourself if you could’ve done things differently, look at all the things you did do right and give yourself credit for them. If another person was responsible for your loved one’s death, look for ways to let go of the circumstances leading up to your loved one's death and accept that you can’t change the outcome. 3. Keep a journalAn ambiguous ending leaves the reader wondering about the “what ifs.” Instead of directly stating what happens to the characters after the book ends, it allows the reader to speculate about what might come next — without establishing a right or wrong answer. Things don't feel quite unresolved, more just open to interpretation. Finding truth doesn’t equate to the end of your pain and suffering. And, reasons don’t always mean that it makes a positive difference in your grief journey.

After experiencing the death of someone we love, we hope to gain closure following their death. We look at different things, such as honoring their lives and finding meaning in their death. But we may not know entirely what it means to get closure from their death or if it’s even possible ever to get there. Jump ahead to these sections: For a girl with Asperger's who has lost her brother in a school shooting, safety is a luxury she can't reach while people keep staring at her and while her father is in deepest grief. Finding "Closure" is her mission, and as her world is literal and doesn't contain the complexity of different underlying meanings, she goes by her beloved dictionary's definition of closure to start with. In a process that requires incredible bravery, she manages to develop a method for herself to reach other people - working on discovering empathy in a practical rather than linguistic sense - and she makes connections in life through literary references. Wenzel, M., Okimoto, T., Feather, N., & Platow, M. (2008). Retributive and restorative justice. Law and Human Behavior, 32(5), 375-389. doi: 10.1007/s10979-007-9116-6Other factors affecting closure are the relationship between the person who died and the circumstances surrounding their death. You can expect that closure will never be complete when a loved one died tragically or at a very young age. Following this type of death can be a lifelong process and one that is never totally complete. Tips for Getting Closure After a Loved One Dies I came away from this book very satisfied. As a female with Asperger's I felt that Caitlin was portrayed realistically. There can be wide differences in how males and females present and I think the author managed to bring those out in Caitlin, though the intense plot does put Caitlin in a situation above and beyond normal everyday life. Learn to forgive yourself and those who may have been responsible for your loved one’s death. Sometimes, when you hold in your anger and resentment, it may cause the breakdown of your relationships with your spouse, partner, or other loved ones. As challenging as it may be to find forgiveness, look for ways of seeing things from a different perspective. Good and strong and beautiful. I like those words. They sound like Devon. I want to build something good and strong and beautiful." Also known as an epilogue, this type of ending describes what happens to the world of the story afterward in a way that hints at the characters' fates at some point in the future.