Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You

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Although rules and other means of establishing consistency are important, there has to be room for compromise. Rather than speaking to them on the phone or through text, download parenting apps or similar apps that track all communications if you need to download them for legal reasons. If you are experiencing alienation from your children while you’re co-parenting, it is best to speak directly to your ex to get to the root of the issue rather than getting the children involved. To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. I now feel more educated and stronger to deal with my situation and prevent my boy being stolen from me.

The more you limit the communication, the less chance there will be for any toxicity or damaging of the co-parenting relationship. Starting a mindfulness and meditation practice will go a VERY long way to you not engaging with your toxic ex in any way. This weekly reminder will keep you motivated to stay on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself)!If your ex is narcissistic, abusive, controlling, rageful, or in some other way toxic, your efforts at any reasonable co-parenting will be thwarted. You cannot control the actions of your ex; however, you can control how you behave and respond to information. Your efforts to do so and maintain a positive relationship with your ex, no matter how toxic, will be beneficial to both you and your child. As a result, your children may become confused, conflicted, angry, anxious, or depressed-and you may feel powerless.

Whether that support system is comprised of friends, family, or all the above, knowing that your loved ones have your back can make a tremendous difference.The 103 third parties who use cookies on this service do so for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalized ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products. This very attitude of blaming and not self-reflecting is harmful, setting off high anxiety in kids and as mentioned, loyalty conflicts,” explains Hollman. If an ex is willing to compromise and remain respectful, divorce counseling or co-parenting counseling can be beneficial.

Embrace open communication, cooperation, and compromise with your ex-spouse, demonstrating positive co-parenting behaviors that create a nurturing environment for your children. If you are going through a divorce or have been divorced for years and share custody with a total jerk who goes out of their way to try to turn the kids against you, undermine your authority as a parent, and push you completely out of the picture, this book will save your sanity! If you have followed all these and have found some sort of working relationship for the sake of your child, there’s still the issue of co-parenting logistics.The facts of the situation and what a targetted parent can do about it, are spelled out clearly and directly.